Overwhelming Feelings
by JEM0013
Summary: Lucy wants to be the one to protect her friends. She trains to get stronger but what happens when it's not just her magic that changes but her feelings as well? Read to find out. (rated M for later chapters and language)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Weakness

Lucy was tired of always needing the others to come to her rescue. So when they returned from their latest mission she planned a little training time with Capricorn and Loke. The others left for the guild for some food and relaxation she begged off.

"I'm going to head home you guys" Lucy said quietly as six pairs of eyes looked to her.

"Lucy-san, are you okay?" Wendy asked, looking at her in concern

"Yea, I'm fine." Lucy focused on Natsu's black eyes "I'm just tired from the long trip."  
Erza looked at her blond friend, "That makes sense." Her brown eyes slid sideways to glare at Natsu "You had to take care of _someone_ on the train."

While Wendy still gazed at her in concern Gray had taken up bullying Natsu for his motion sickness

"Lushy~you want some fish?"

Lucy smiled at Happy before shaking her head. "No thanks, Happy. I just wanna get home and relax."

"I'll keep you company while I eat your yummy fish~"

"She doesn't want your fish, idiot cat!"

As Lucy watched Charla berate Happy, Happy cried and started circling Natsu and Gray who were getting louder in their insults.

An eye twitch started on Erza's left eye as she glared at the group.

"ENOUGH!" The group looked in surprise at Wendy. Wendy herself took a deep calming breath then continued scrutinizing the blonde. "Lucy-san…are you okay?" she asked again.

"Lucy smiled again. _Did Wendy notice that I'm forcing myself?_ "I'm fine."

And with Wendy and Natsu still watching she turned with a wave and started home.

Lucy walked into her apartment dropped all her travel gear by the door and flopped down on her bed face down. She thought over what her weaknesses were as she let her achy muscles start to relax. _I have little physical fighting strength, little practical magic use, and compared to the others, I'm slow on my feet._

She pushed herself up and headed towards the kitchen to make herself a light lunch. _The physical training will be easiest to set up_ Lucy sighed_ and the hardest for me to complete._ As Lucy pulled out bread she touched her hand to her keys "Open, Gate of the lion, Leo. Open, Gate of the goat, Capricorn" came the quiet chant that had a flash of light leaving two of her most loyal spirit friends.

"Lucy?" Loke watched his blonde master place the loaf of bread on the table. It was odd for her to actually summon him. Mostly, he just came through the gate on his own.

"Lucy-sama?" _To summon both myself and Leo, something must be wrong_

While her two friends looked at her she continued to look down at the table. Capricorn had trained her before the grand magic games. But, that was to raise her magical prowess…_not_ on ways to use her magic with more practicality. She slowly raised her eyes to look at the two spirits in her dining room.

"Can you help me train my weaknesses?"

"Luc-"  
"Of course, Lucy-sama!" Capricorn cut Leo off.

Loke glared at Capricorn as the goat bowed over her hand. _She's already strong...why does she feel the need to get stronger?_

"I'll send word to Mira" Lucy looked down at her table again. "I'd like to get started as soon as possible."

"Will we be training in this realm, Lucy-sama?"

Leo looked over to Lucy at Capricorns question. She didn't look up and her eyes took on a calculating look. "Yes. I don't want days to pass here when I would only get one day of training in, in the spirit realm." Her eyes rose to look in Lokes eyes. "We'll need a place where the others won't find us easily though. You know of a place from when you were one of the guilds mages?"

Loke sighed. She was serious about this and while he wished to help her no matter what something didn't feel right about this. "Yes, though if any of the dragon slayers start to sniff you out they'll eventually be able to find us."

Lucy looked into Lokes eyes for a long minute before looking at Capricorn. "I guess the first thing I'll need to learn then is how to make a barrier."

"Then I'll go and prepare Lucy-sama." Capricorn executed a short bow before disappearing in a flash of light

Lucy turned to her desk leaving the loaf of bread on the table and Loke looking at her with concerned eyes. "When you're done with the letter I'll take it over to Mira so you can pack and eat something."

Lucy nodded and set about to writing her letter to the guild.

Dear Mira,

I decided to get some training in while the team was back for a break. You can tell everyone I'll be back shortly but what I'm doing is secret celestial mage training and have to be alone for it. I'll be sending either Loke or Virgo into town to check my mail every morning so if you need to get word to me just slip a note in the box.

I'm not telling Natsu or the team where I'm going because I don't want them to come and "help". Just let them know I'll be back soon and that it'll be pointless to sniff me out.

Thanks, Lucy

**Author's note:**

**I tend to lose track of characters when there are too many so I apologize if the parts where they are in the groups are short and sparse. I try and get the image down then add to it but it's so hard for me to keep up with all the characters present for that scene. Also, I'm trying to stay as close as possible to the original character personalities as I can while still giving them what they need for my story! I love the characters as is and wouldn't want to change them…just want to continue their story in a dreamed up direction.**

Also, this is my first time writing a fanfiction…I generally tend to like making up my own characters because I like to mold their personalities the way I see fit…this is more challenging but still really fun! Please be kind but critical when you rate me!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Celestial Training

Lucy looked around the little glen that Loke had brought her to. There were two cliff faces covered in moss, a waterfall trickled down between the moss covered walls. A pool of jewel toned greens and blues lied glistening under the waterfall while the suns reflection off the water danced prettily against the walls and moss.

Loke watched as Lucy turned quickly to take it all in, her skirt flaring around her hips. Her brown eyes shined in excitement and wonder as she tried to look everywhere all at once. "Beautiful," came her reverent whisper.

She turned her shining chocolate eyes back to Loke. "When did you find this place?" They were on the edge of Mangolia, several miles in from the beach. The glen was hidden in the middle of the forest and down in a wide canyon.

"Err…a long time ago." Loke looked away as he answered. "Shall we start on something that I think will help with Capricorns training?"

"Sure"

"I've been thinking," Loke began as Lucy looked away from the glens beauty to focus on him, "that we should teach you how to open your own personal gate."

"My own…gate? Loke, I have a gate?" Lucys eyes had widened and she now focused sharply on Loke.

"Everything with a spiritual essence has a gate." Lucy still totally focused on what Loke said took a step closer, her lips pressed together in thought. "However, not many beings can actually reach their gates and even fewer can reach another's gate. Those who can reach another's gate are celestial mages."

"Hmm. So what will being able to open my own gate mean?" Lucy was now standing right next to Loke. As he looked down he worried about what he was about to do. _The danger to herself…_

"You know how there are times we show up, even when you don't summon us?" When Lucy nodded solemnly he continued. "Since you have a connection to our gates we can sense your thoughts, emotions and occasionally any physical sensation."

Lucy's eyes widened in shock, "so that's why you show up when I'm in danger?"

It was Loke's turn to nod solemnly. "If you open your own personal gate you should be able to send…impressions…your own thoughts to another person that you trust and have a strong bond with." Lucy's eyes squinted in calculation. She had always been smart.

"I'd 'be able to send'…so I wouldn't be able to hear anyone else's thoughts?" Loke smiled before she continued, "My own gate…You guys can physically pass through a gate…would I eventually be able to pass through my gate? And where would it go?"

Loke marveled at her cunning reasoning. _She's a true celestial wizard_. "That's right. The only way you'd be able to hear someone else's thoughts would be to perform a mind-link spell and so few mages have the magic control or the know-how to do it properly. Although, you should be able to hear all of your spirits thoughts as well, that is, if we send them to you." Lokes gaze shifted over Lucy's head as Capricorn came into view. "As for transporting yourself through your own gate…it's extremely dangerous unless you have an exact image to where you're transporting. I thought to work on doing exactly that with short distances." Loke held Capricorns gaze for a minute before he nodded in agreement. With his eyes back on Lucy he continued, "You should be able to transport others as well but…"

After a moment of waiting for him to continue Lucy looked behind her at Capricorn. "'But' what?"

"It not only takes an enormous about of magic…" Lucy turned back to Loke as he hesitantly continued, "it leaves you extremely vulnerable…mentally, emotionally and magically." Loke paused as he took a breath, he wanted to make sure Lucy knew how serious this was, "Those who you are transporting…their magic, their emotions will leak into your spirit like a poison into an open, gaping wound."

Lucy's eyes went dark as she thought through what he said. She looked at Capricorn then back again at Loke. "Then that'll have to be a last resort." Her eyes lit with determination, "Let's get started!"

They started her training with just opening her gate internally. While it didn't take a lot of magic to open one's own gate, it did take a lot of concentration. With Lucy, and the amount of focus they knew it wouldn't take long.

While she sat in a magic circle to help reduce outside distractions (for this first time), they stood to either side of her, switching back and forth instructing her on what to do, with Loke gauging her progress.

"Place yourself deep in you subconscious." Capricorns calm voice quietly instructed Lucy. "Clear anything unnecessary away."

Lucy, with her eyes closed, sitting cross-legged between her two spirits, imagined herself in the darkest part of her mind standing in a small circle of light.

"A gate is simply a doorway that can be opened or closed." Loke continued softly, "through each door you can see a person's true self."

"When you open your gate you'll be able to access your self-awareness on a deeper level; sensing the people around you and, deep in your subconscious, seeing their gates."

Lucy let herself sink deeper into her mind, listening less and less to what the two were saying. Suddenly, the image of herself in that circle of light opened her eyes to stare at what looked like a wrought iron garden gate. Gold and silver designs decorated it with twists and twirls of shining and sparkling star like specks. Vines with little flowers of pink and blue wove around and through the designs. She slowly she reached out her hand to touch the gate. It swung open silently and as she reached the opening she saw many more doors past it.

"There are so many…" Lucy whispered quietly.

Capricorn stopped what he'd been saying when he heard Lucys murmurs. His dark gaze shot to Leo. "Has she already passed through?"

Loke shook his head. Being able to sense her state of mind and magic Loke was charged with keeping Capricorn informed of when she was ready for the next step. "She's opened it but hasn't stepped through."

Capricorn nodded. "Are you ready?"

At Loke's nod Capricorn shifted to sit in the magic circle with Lucy. Loke place a hand on each of their heads and closed his eyes to focus on the mental connection the circle would provide.

Capricorn suddenly appeared next to the image of Lucy in her subconscious. He looked through her gate, impressed that there were so many already. Most mages, when they did this, only saw the gates of the beings in the nearby vicinity. Lucy's, however, looked like it was everyone at the guild. He turned his gaze toward his petite blonde master. "are you ready to step through?"

Her brown eyes slowly rose to meet his. "What do I do after I pass through the gate?"

He looked at her for a moment, then, through the opening left by the gate, debating with the information that Loke was filtering through to him. "For now you'll go through and just see if you can identify who the doors belong to. When you think you've found mine or Leo's feel free to touch your hand to it. It won't open since we are already summoned to you, but if you talk through it like you would if it was an actual door and we were on the other side we should be able to hear you." He looked back down at Lucy's face and watched her bite her lip in consternation of identifying all those doors. "Take your time." She looked back up at him, "This is the first attempt and you're already doing better than expected Lucy-sama."

She gifted him with her grin before taking a deep breath and stepping through the open gate.

"Leo" Capricorn whispered, to let the lion king know he was going to come back, before vanishing from Lucy's subconscious. Capricorn opened his eyes to look at Lucy's serene face before stepping back out of the circle. He turned to Leo, "I'm going to head back for a little to replenish my magic" At Leo's nod he disappeared with a flash of light.

Loke sat down in front of Lucy just outside the magic circle, now all he could do…_was wait._

**Author's note: I know I'm drifting away from the characters true (anime) personalities a little but if you think about people in real life a person doesn't act the same exact way with varying groups of friends. People have many different facets to their individual personalities…we know Lucy jokes around A LOT with the others but it's generally implied that when it comes to her magic she's very serious.**

When I dreamed this up this chapter and the next were of the most vivid parts of the dream so I'm trying to be as detailed as I can because this is what made me want to write the fanfiction….I'd also like to note really quick that this is after I read the chapter where Lucy sacrificed aquarius's key however, I'm trying to keep from mentioning it so hopefully when people read it they can see it happening at almost any point in time along the natural fairy tail time line


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Doors, doors, doors / Meanwhile

While Loke sat outside the circle waiting for his blonde master to contact him the sun started to set and Lucy walked slowly up and around every door getting a "feel" for what each doors' energy felt like.

Lucy walked in the darkness coming near each door as she passed (to try and identify whose door it was) but making sure not to make contact. _My first task was finding Loke's or Capricorn's. _As she neared a golden door with flames licking up the side she thought it would be Loke's, being the Lion zodiac his element was sunlight, however she started to feel like an inexhaustible amount of energy was pumping from underneath.

_Natsu_

His name just suddenly resonated in her head as she stopped in front of the closed portal. It was beautiful, giving off a bright, unearthly glow; it's flames making intricate designs on either side.

Lucy turned away to scan what seemed to be innumerous amount of doors. _Focus_

Lucy felt Loke's presence and started to walk towards it, as she passed by she tried to identify some of the doors.

An oversized door that looked like it was a precious metal shined to perfection. It had carvings and symbols that she couldn't decipher that seemed to make a picture of a shield. _Erza_

The next looked like it was glass, fairly simple with a large snowflake design. The deep blues of both the door and the snowflake seemed to alternate back and forth. _Gray_

A large double door, one side black one was white was the next one Lucy took note of. It had a metal design that twisted and combined over the doors. A design, so faint, under the metal looked like some kind of face. She stepped closer and felt a pulse of demonic energy. _Mira?! That's interesting…_

The next wasn't a door, but rather, a gate, like her own. What looked like a dark wrought iron twisted into a dragons angry scowl. _Hmph! Gajeel_

Door after door she slowly started identifying those of her friends in the guild, there were a few she skipped because she couldn't feel anything coming from it until she got to Levy's.

Levy's looked like a library door. Old wood, bronze handle and book return flap. Lucy chuckled as she even saw a plaque where it would normally say 'library'

As she rounded Levy's door she stopped. Another gate stood in front of her. Golds and bronzes swirled together making what looked like a sun symbol. She confirmed it as Loke's door when she stepped closer and felt his warmth leaking from the gate

She reached out and touched the warm metal…

Loke flinched as he felt an invisible hand reaching in his soul.

_Loke?_

He sighed, relief pouring through him.

_Lucy! You did it!_

Her tinkling laughter bubbled up in his thoughts. _It's amazing! And so beautiful!_ Loke felt himself blush as he listened to her go on about his gate. He personally didn't know what his gate looked like but going from what Lucy was telling him it didn't sound like it was hard to identify.

When she'd entered a lull of quiet Loke sent back _I think it's time you come back. Your body will be tired and hungry. We'll continue tomorrow…_

_How?_

_Just imagine yourself floating away from your deep subconscious, you want to float to the surface._

After a moment Lucy's eyes fluttered as she moaned and fell back. Loke quickly vanished the magic circle before leaping up to kneel at her side. Helping her up gently, he brushed her hair away from her face. "Are you okay?"

She looked up into his hazel eyes, "I'm starving!"

Loke chuckled deep in his chest as he helped her sit up all the way before handing her Virgo's key "Virgo told me to have you summon her when you were hungry. She apparently has a surprise for you."

Lucy smiled as she took the key. "Open, Gate of the Maiden, Virgo."

"Hime, punishment time?" Virgo asked as she appeared in a flash of light/

Lucy sighed, "No, but I am kinda hungry."

"Of course, Hime" Virgo stated as she pulled a large pack out of what seemed to be thin air. "This is from the guild." The pink haired maid set down the pack next to her princess, "I've been instructed to heat the food inside when you were ready."

Lucy's eyes filled with tears as she looked at the small note pinned to the pack.

'You'll get ill if you don't keep up your strength.

We miss you, be safe.

Mirajane'

"Mira" Lucy whispered. "Thanks"

MEANWHILE back at the guild

"Welcome back Master" Mira's voice called out over the fighting as the tiny, aged, third master came up to sit on the bar.

Makarov sighed. "The council is at it again." Mirajane continued to wipe a mug clean as she knew Master needed no prompting to tell her what the council had said. Master whipped around suddenly, tears dripping from his eyes, snot leaking from his nose, "They are tallying up all the damage from each guild and expecting it all to be paid!"

"Oh dear!"

"We must not let our more destructive teams take missions in towns." Master stated under his breath as he looked around the guild hall.

"Oh"

He froze, his black eyes narrowing as he turned to Mirajane again. "Where is Natsu and his team?"

Mira smiled, "On a mission"

"Grk!"

"They decided to take a small one while Lucy is training."

"Lucy…is not…with them..?"

"Yep! Virgo came in this morning and I packed up a special bag for her to take to Lucy since no one but her spirits know where she is."

"Ghnn!"

Makarav put his head down as he frantically thought through what missions had been on the request board. He couldn't think of any that wouldn't end up in more…"DEBT" Master cried out brokenly.

**Author's Note: I've actually been done with this chapter for a while but kept going through…something's missing but I couldn't figure out what…Sorry it's kind of short I didn't want to spend too much time describing Lucy's training, we know from the previous chapters what she thinks her weaknesses are and, vaguely, how Loke and Capricorn plan to help her.**


End file.
